November 20, 2012

Hard to be Happy

Oh November 20. Never an easy day. Such a mixture of happy and sad...this day every year is nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster for me and my family.

November 20, 1959 a handsome blonde haired, blue-eyed baby boy was brought into this world and celebrated his very first birthday. November 20, 2007 was the birthday we never thought in a million years would be the last one he'd ever celebrate.

But at only 48 years old, he was taken from us.

While I try to be happy every year on this very day, it's hard. It's hard knowing we'll never get to take him to his favorite barbeque restaurant for his yearly birthday tradition...ribs, sweet tea and homemade blueberry muffins. Or go with him to his favorite sushi spot so he could show me all the best rolls to order. Or that I'll never get to research nights on end for the latest hunting gadget to give him to add to his collection. (He was always THE hardest person to shop for!) Or call him just to let him know I was thinking about him and wanted to wish him the happiest of birthdays.

Oh November 20. Such a bittersweet day.

Happy 53rd birthday to my daddy.
My angel.
My everything.

We love & miss you so incredibly much.

100 comments:

  1. i am so so sorry girlie!! losing someone so close and special is so difficult. and to say it gets easy isnt really true. we just learn to deal. but there are moments every single day that are difficult, but your dad wants you and your family to be strong. and happy. and live life to its fullest. i feel the same about my brother i lost in 2005...my best friend.
    let out all your cries today. dont hold back. share his stories...funny, sad, happy. all of them. let his memory live on. celebrate his life. my thoughts are with you on this rough day...

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    1. Thank you so much. I so needed to read this today. Sometimes I forget it's okay to be sad. xoxo

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  2. Made me cry! Said a prayer for you and your family!


    Brooke

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    1. Aw I'm so sorry but thank you! Prayers have been much needed today. :)

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  3. <3 Thinking of you double time today, love.

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    1. You mean you don't think of me double time every day? ;) Kidding. THank you for thinking about me at all. xo

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  4. Wow... tears are rolling! Thinking of you today!

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  5. Thinking of you and praying for you today!

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  6. Oh girl, I cannot even begin to think about how hard this is. I always think about you and sweet Katie, especially around the holidays.

    When my cousin passed away close to his birthday we made a pact with each other that we'd still celebrate. So every year we let off balloons together. Even if we aren't in the same city, we still do it over the telephone. I know its not the same as your poppa bear, but its just an idea : )

    Sending you double the hugs today.

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    1. Aw thank you! It's definitely not easy...but you learn to deal. Funny you mentioned that about the balloon because I totally thought of doing it but ended up not for some reason. We just got back from one of his favorite restaurants for dinner though. It was perfect. :) Thanks again love!

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  7. This brought tears to my eyes..... Thinking of you today! It is hard to lose someone that is so much a part of you! Always keep his memory alive, every chance you get, talk about him. My thoughts are with you and your family :)

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    1. Thank you so much! We definitely talk about him ALL the time. It's been a HUGE part of the healing process. <3 Thanks again!

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  8. Oh sweet girl I am praying for you! I just can't imagine.
    You are in my thoughts today!

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    1. Thank you so much! It's definitely not the easiest thing to go through but I'm thankful I had him for 21 years of my life. <3

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  9. Such a sweet post. I can really tell of the sweet, wonderful relationship that you two shared! Praying!!

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    1. Thank you love! I definitely miss him a lot but am thankful for all the memories I have of him. 0:)

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  10. ah, steph, i'm so sorry.. my heart hurts for you. sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family this week.

    xo

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  11. Love you and I'm thinking about y'all. XOXO

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    1. THanks Selena! Means so much xo Love you sister!

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  12. My heart aches for you! I cannot imagine not having my Daddy around! Hugs girly

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    1. It's definitely not easy but you learn to deal with it by rejoicing in his memories. Don't forget to hug your daddy extra tight next time you see him! Thank you for the *hugs* :)

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  13. He is looking down on you as proud as ever and always with you!

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  14. You are so strong! This is such a beautiful and touching dedication to your sweet Dad. I know he is watching over you and is so proud of the lovely woman you have become. I'll be thinking of you today! xo

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    1. Thank you sweet girl! Your words mean a ton to me today. xoxo

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  15. Tearing up as I type... Prayers coming your way to get through this day! xoxo

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  16. Thoughts and prayers to you today. It can't be easy and I can't imagine for you and your brother and mom. ((HUGS))

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    1. It's definitely not easy but you learn to deal...thank you sweet girl. Means a lot! xo

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  17. i love you steph and am thinking about you today! you're such a strong amazing person and I know for a fact your dad is looking down on you so excited for everything happening in your life!

    sending you lots of love and hugs <3 <3

    xoxoxo

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    1. Aw thanks Errrrcuh! Your words mean so much to me. Love you sister! :) Miss your face!

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  18. keep the memories close and do something special to celebrate! your daddy is so proud of you girl!

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    1. Thank you! We actually just got back from eating dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. :) Meant so much to go back there.

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  19. Hugs to you today!! Rejoice in the memories and your time together. I feel the same way on my daddy's birthday too.

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    1. SO hard...thank you so much for the reminder of rejoicing in the memories I had with him. xo

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  20. Aww such a heartbreaking day but at least you can be glad that you have amazing memories and stories to look back on and smile. He's looking over you and must be so proud!

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    1. Definitely lots of good memories! Thanks so much for your sweet words. xo

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  21. I thinking of you today, sister! I know your daddy is looking down on you and is so proud of you! <3

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  22. sending thoughts and prayers your way today. i know your dad is looking down on you from up above and smiling at what he sees. xoxo.

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  23. Hugs & prayers for you & your family on this difficult day! Just know that he does hear you & he knows just how much you love him! I know it doesn't make it easier but, maybe it will bring some comfort!

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    1. Thank you doll face! I so appreciate your sweet words. :)

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  24. Prayers for you. I know it never gets easier! Thinking about youextra today!

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    1. It definitely never gets easier. Thank you for thinking about me today. Much appreciated. :) xo

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  25. Prayers for you and your family. This post brought tears to my eyes and gave me chills all over. Will be thinking of you.

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  26. Your daddy is the same age as my mom and I can't imagine losing her ever.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I've never lost a parent, but just thinking about the pain is unimaginable. I'm sure your dad is with you and watching over you every single day.

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    1. It still feels unimaginable...trust me. Hug your parents extra tight next time you see 'em! THank you for your sweet words. :)

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  27. Thinking of you today, sweet girl.

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  28. Thinking about you today friend!!

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  29. Aw I'm so sorry for your loss. So weird, my grandma passed away too on her birthday on Nov. 18,2007. I can't imagine losing my dad. Thinking of you today!

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  30. Thinking of you and your dad today!

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  31. I'm sorry for your loss Steph, but you a strong biatch! I don't even know what I would do, but just know that it's OK to be sad. Thinking of you today. XOXO

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    1. LOL thanks, Linds. Made me smile! :) xoxo

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  32. Sending prayers to you and your family today. Happy Birthday to your dad, I am sure he is so so proud of you today, and every day.

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words :)

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  33. Thinking of you & your family today! xoxo

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  34. Thinking about you today, sweet friend.. My daddy's on Oct 31st, the 2nd anniversary just passed and his 62nd birthday back in July. My heart aches for you and your family today... <3 xoxo

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    1. Aw girl I'm so sorry. :( I don't think it ever really gets "easier"...you just learn how to deal with it...ya know? THanks for your sweet words. Back at you. xo

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  35. Thinking about you and your family....extra hugs!!!!

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  36. thinking of you girlie :) I lost my dad to cancer at a young age, so I know what it is like to lose someone you love. keep your head up pretty!

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    1. ugh-so sorry Ash. I had no idea. :( Thank you for your sweet words! xoxo

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  37. everytime you talk about your dad, i cry. you make me want to call my dad and just tell him i love him;
    thinking about you today girly

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    1. Aw I'z sawwy! Definitely don't mean to make anyone cry but I hope you did call your daddio and tell him how much you love him! Thank you love! xo

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  38. Holy cow, that gave me goosebumps and I'm so sorry and I know that doesn't make things better or make it easier, but wow!

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    1. Thank you. :) It's not easy but you learn to deal... xo

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  39. Thinking of you and praying for you and your family today Steph. I know he is a special angel in Heaven watching over his gorgeous daughter, he is so proud of you and he misses and loves you every day.
    Sending you bug hugs x

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    1. Thank you so much! Bug hugs have been much needed today. :)

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  40. Just made me send a message to my Daddy. We have to treasure every moment we have.
    Blessings to you and your family on this tough day xx

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    1. Aw good! You can never tell them enough how much you love 'em! THank you girly!

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  41. Your dad seems like an amazing man. What a special angel you have watching over you :)

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    1. He was nothing short of amazing! Thanks Ravie pants :)

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  42. What a great way to remember him today. I too lost my dad and I feel like each day we wake up and know that it's something we have to deal with. Each day brings about old or new memories, special thoughts, or sometimes just is a day to be sad. I find myself reminding myself that I was so lucky to have him for as long as I did, even if it wasn't long enough. :) special prayers your way for a little extra strength on days like today.

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    1. Could not be more true. Thank you girly! xo

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  43. Sending a big fat hug your way my friend. xoxo

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  44. I'm so sorry for your loss. Today had to be a rough one!! Hopefully you feel the love and warmth (and prayers) from us in the blog world. Many thoughts and prayers to you and your family from me today!!

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  45. Thinking of you pretty girl. Sending you lot's of love!

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  46. Bless your heart, Stephanie. I'm so sorry. I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  47. A precious post :) Sorry for your loss (hugs) and happy birthday to your dad.

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  48. Sending you lots of hugs and extra love today! Happy Birthday to Papa J! Always cherish the good, silly and fun memories. It's what keeps them alive.

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  49. Gosh - so sorry to hear about you losing your Daddy at such a young age. My Daddy passed away in 1982 on December 22 when I had just turned 15 and my brother 12. He was only 45. I will be 45 this December and it's really starting to weigh heavily on my mind. I always knew that 45 was terribly young, but I never realized just how very young he was. This meant my Mom was a widow at 40. I have no idea how we all picked up the pieces and went on - I have to Thank God Mom had that ability. It bothers me to think of being older than he ever was. Holidays and theirs and your birthdays are the hardest - as I am sure you know all to well... His funeral was Christmas Eve. That has always been hard, then I lost my Mom 12/13/08 - the day after I turned 41. It was pretty rough and I will never enjoy my b-day or these holidays the same - but my faith is strong and I trust God's will... Wow - TMI... Sorry... Prayers you and your family have a wonderful holiday season. Not sure why I needed an outlet to have a brief pity party on your blog. You hang in there and know that I will pray for peace in your heart this Holiday season. God Bless you and yours...

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  50. Thinking of you girl even though its a few days after. You have a sweet, sweet angel watching over you. <3

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